Seriously, I HATE these with a passion.  Whether you have to fill them out online or using the good ol’ paper and pen, applications bite.  And filling these jokers out is so monotonous and frustrating.  You know the routine here: Fill out your name, address, phone number, and SSN.  Answer U.S. eligibility questions and criminal record questions.  Enter availability info.  Enter school info.  Enter past employment history (my weak point).  Then enter references.  Sign and date at the bottom, turn it in, and hope for the best.

I mean, it seriously bites.  First off, filling out applications sometimes is a total waste of time.  Especially when you have a trillion and one other applications you have to compete with.  Some of them never get looked at.  I remember calling out to places I applied at and ask “Hello, have the applications been reviewed yet?” And I got mostly the same answer: “Yes, we’re just calling people in for interviews.” And after I hear that, I know that I wasted my time on that place because I never get called in.

Secondly, I REALLY hate applications that ask for too damn much!  For one, school information isn’t relevant because upon first glance at you (when you ask for an application), the manager or whoever should tell that you’re NOT a braindead moron!  I also hate those apps that make you take some stupid surveys on your personality, with all this “Strongly Agree” and “Strongly Disagree” bullshit.  References aren’t needed because to my knowledge, employers rarely call references.  The bare application should be this: Name, Address, and Phone Number.  Then Availability Info (Just check Day or Night on each day and not all that time BS).  Then Employment History.  That’s it.  Nothing else.  The whole app should fit on one page, just the front.

Seriously, I could wipe a gorilla’s ass with applications, then hand it to those employers to show them that they asked for too much.  Or to at least make my application stand out from the rest.  Oh yes, applications blow.  But if you can get past this point, there is the next step….

And while you’re filling out your next application, think about this: If it doesn’t work for me, it won’t work for you.  Chase the pipe dream.  Live the pipe nightmare.

The only reason to go to a job fair is if you have experience at a position.  Like, YEARS, not MONTHS.  If you can incessantly push that point across, not to mention the awards and recognition that you have, you have the best shot.  But with little to no experience?  You’d have a better chance of lifting an elephant with one arm than getting that job.  So DON’T waste your time with job fairs.  You’d be better off going to a place where they are not doing a mass hiring.  One where they need just a few people and not a million people.

Always remember: If it doesn’t work for me, it won’t work for you.  Chase the pipe dream.  Live the pipe nightmare.